Saturday, August 21, 2010

Madison's Farmer's Market

Donovan, Hayden and I went to the Farmer’s Market today on our way to the Children’s Museum. We had a nice time, but for all the wrong reasons. Donovan and Hayden enjoyed people watching, eating their $.43 apple (each), eating big honkin’ venison sticks, M&M cookies (thanks big dude at Stella’s bakery!!!), and drinking from their thermos. On the other hand, I had the jogging stroller with the cow-catcher front end which means only one thing: I get to imagine doing the following scenario--you cut me off, you get the stroller to the back of the calf, and I get to dole out a few punishing blows to people who stand in the middle of the walkway to fight over whether they should by Kohlrabi crap from this stand or from the stand a block-and-a-half back from the crazy organic farmer wearing the ridiculous hat and scarf in the middle of summer to draw attention to himself.

I didn’t purposefully hit anyone today. But I did get to tell a good man that Stella’s Spicy Cheesebread is the only reason to come to the Farmer’s Market. I was promptly corrected by an older lady that there are a lot of good places to shop at the Farmer’s Market. I forgot. Steep N Brew coffee is also a good place to go, but not a reason to go to the Farmer’s Market since Starbucks is also right on the trip.

All that said, I love the farmer’s market. It is one of the best people watching places in the State. Also, I can think of no greater bastion of hypocrisy or place to prove that you are a glutton for punishment than Madison's Farmer's Market. I’ll explain. A family gets into their car, drives ten miles in their SUV to purchase goods from multiple stores. The rest of Wisconsinites do that too when they go to . . . the Mall. Only going to the Mall has much less of an uppity feel to it and there is less price fixing at the mall (all the pints of raspberrys that I saw today were $4.00 per pint . . . you tell me something ain’t up). Also, when I shop at the Mall, I don’t have to be told by numerous people smarter than me that Israel is evil, killing fetuses is acceptable, or that I am not a good father because I do not attend marriage camp. Also, when I go to the mall, I am not forced to walk at 0.7 mph, shoulder to shoulder, on a cramped 10-foot-wide sidewalk, stopping every ten feet. So I guess it is not quite like the mall. Instead, it is like a group of cattle being lead to slaughter. But I like it anyway, especially because Stella’s Bakery gave my kids free cookies.

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